Woman I salute you…….

 

The determination of a mother who has mouths to feed is amazing

I remember having a conversation with a cleaner who works for my dad explaining to me how she actually met my dad

She says she had just lost a job she had gotten 3 weeks ago because of a lady who was just never happy with anything she did

She would clean her whole house but she would find something to complain about every time she was there to clean

Eventually she decided to quit because she felt heavy hearten every time she had to go there

Also the travelling she had to do in order to get there was very costly from the amount she was getting paid

Making that decision to quit that job was hard as she still had 6 mouths to feed including hers

She had left her abusive husband and moved back home and had to start from scratch

So she was all alone in this and her kids were far too young to even assist her

So she decided she needs to find another job

She woke up one morning and bought 5 sweets which she would eat when she got hungry

Where was she going………

To go and look for a domestic job where a number of ladies would go and stand

 

 

They normally congregate outside this restaurant and wait for someone to come and offer them work

As she was sitting there, a man (my dad) in a white pick-up truck approached them

As the ladies ran up to my dad in an attempt to get selected, she didn’t move and just sat there

My dad then approached her and asked her if she spoke Xhosa

She said yes and my dad said okay lets go

As they were on their way the lady thought to herself……. “this man probably has a wife who is going to be so controlling and will be telling me I am not cleaning properly”

Eventually they arrived at my house and she was welcomed by my younger brother

It was his duty to show her round and how to operate things such as the vacuum cleaner and the washing machine etc

I was staying at school at the time hence the duty fell upon him

As my brother was showing her, she could not help laughing at some of the ridiculous things my brother was telling her she had to do and how to do them

She then looked around and noticed that there was no mother figure except pictures of a young girl (that would be me)

She did such an amazing job to the extent that my dad then said she must come back again next weekend

She was so happy she decided to focusing on her next project

With the little money she was earning she decided she would take 20% of that and save it

She continued saving this amount for about 5 months

 

 

She then decided to become a loan shark while she continued working for my dad

With the income she was making, she managed to put food on her table

Ensured that her kids have clothes and all of them are able to go to school

She didn’t just stop there, she decided to start selling food

She went and bought raw meat, cooked it and woke up every morning at 3 AM to prepare to go to the taxi rank and start selling

 

 

She did that on weekdays and on Saturdays she was at my house cleaning our house

Business is going so well, she has had to teach her daughters to assist her with selling food when she either has another engagement or when she is at my house cleaning

I was so proud of her when she told me that her next goal is to get a license so that she can buy a car

She would drive this car to make deliveries as that’s a struggle for her at the moment

We then reminisced about the time she could not buy clothes for her kids

The pain she endured when it was Christmas and she had to watch her neighbor’s children getting new clothes and toys

And she knew she could not afford to buy any for her kids

That’s all in the past now

She is still as humble and grateful as she was since the day I had met her

She has not only become a role model to me but also a mother that I have not had in years

She is such an amazing person and I am so proud of her and I make sure to tell her that every opportunity I get

 

More lives gone too soon……!

I heard about yet another fatal accident where a person I knew was driving with a friend for a weekend away

We were informed while myself and a mutual friend of ours were coming from a funeral and decided to go and have a few drinks as almost like a send off (senseless activity)

We got so emotional, we were both in tears but that didnt stop us from enjoying our beverages because we were celebrating the gentleman’s life we had just buried afterall

Eventually we went to sleep as I had an early flight back home the following morning

It wasnt until I got home when I came to my senses and decided to ask what had happened to our friend

I was then informed that a drunken drive jumped a red robot and hit them on the side and both the driver and passenger (my friend) and the driver of the other car had died on the spot

Now I dont know how many times we have been told to NOT DRINK & DRIVE and yet we are still hearing of such fatalities on a weekly basis

Now look I am not any better because I too have done it a couple of times where I have driven while I was toxicated

To make matters even worse for me is that I once watched an episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show and they were talking about drinking and driving

A young lady who had just gotten her license was being interviewed who was involved in a fatal accident where she survived and the family in the other car didnt

That particular episode made such an impact on me to the extent that I still remember it clearly to this day and yet it was aired years ago

Okay wait let me phrase that a little differently

It made such an impact to the extent that I dont drink and drive but I allow other drunk people to drive for me (as I cover myself because I am being a hypocrite)

Nonetheless some of us really dont take this thing seriously

Some, like me, based on their actions of ignoring the signs and ads telling us not to drink and drive

I guess it would take something more serious in order to actually take it seriously and not see it as “just another warning”

But seriously, to those reading this, if you do drink and drive please stop it right now!!!!

This will not only affect you, but also your family, loved ones and strangers who will be indirectly affected by your selfishness (is there even such a word)

Lets take it seriously please…….!

I hope it was worth it!!!!

Does office romance survive or last or even worth it????

I am asking because it seems like in each job that I seem to get there is always office romance

Some are married and frankly couldnt careless about how their spouses feel (I am assuming)

The minute you approach a woman and you have a ring on your ring finger telling her how much you love her and are the man to love her forever, how sincere are you????

To the woman who is being approached by the married man and you can see the ring on his finger, but choose to ignore it and you hand him your number, what are your intentions???

Maybe its just to be friends I assume…..

Maybe its so that he can buy you things such as toiletries, to wine and dine you or maybe to buy you lingerie……..

How does he know your size, let alone your taste in lingerie??

You told him…….which is all and fair but are you not taunting him or insinuating that its ok for you to take it to another level???

Did you stop to consider that this person does have a ring on his finger and chances are there is a wife and maybe kids waiting for him at home

The money that he should be spending on building his home, he is now spending it on you…….

As the cheating husband, why did you go and raise your wife’s hopes that you love her and will be faithful to her and only her

Why didnt you leave her to be with a man who will promise those things and be there for her if you cant????

Did you ever stop to think that your wife too is more than capable of doing exactly what you are doing and she wont brag about it as you would

So in other words you will never know until she tells you or someone else who wants to hurt you as the husband

It even gets worse when you have another child outside the marriage, now this woman whom you call your wife must now accept this child because she loves you

What if she cant have children, have you now not said I dont care……. but hey it doesnt affect you so long as you had your two minute fun

You as a wife you go and have another child with a married man simply because your husband is not satisfying you anymore

How many lives are you ruining simply because you couldnt be faithful to the man you had said yes I do to doesnt satisfy you anymore

It gets even worse when the woman you were cheating with now wants more out of this such as commitment to the extent that she is willing to go and expose you because you see she has evidence

She doesnt like the fact that you have a family and are so inlove with your wife so she just has to ruin it by exposing the secret photos she was taking or heaven forbid she is pregnant and the DNA says its 99.9% that he/she is your husband’s child

Something which started off as innocent such as flirting could lead to bad endings

Is that office romance worth it because in the end the truth will eventually come out and ruin not only your reputation, possibly your marriage or better yet your career…….heaven forbid your life because there are deadly diseases that you failed to think for that during your moment of lust

But hey its a selfish decision you decided to take and now you will have to live with it taking down innocent people who had nothing to do with your moment of “fun”.

When it ends…….

When you marry into a particular family/culture I think its fair to say you have to follow the rules that that particular family follows…….

Once you start disrespcting the elders of that family by blatanly not following simple rules such as dressing in a particular attire and not addressing them how you were taught, then its safe to say that you no longer want to be married

It once again goes back to what I had said about people nowadays getting married for the wrong reasons

Why not leave when you no longer want to be married, instead of disrespecting the same people you had requested to come to your family to come and pay for your dowry

They came as you had requested and gave you what your family had asked for and now this is the Thank You they get….

As much as a union such as a marriage is between two people, in our culture its about two families coming together and not just the two people who are getting married

It becomes even worse when you drag the name that you are married into through the mud and do things that wives shouldnt be doing and getting caught on numerous occassions

Speak to your elders and tell them you are no longer happy and you want out so that they can follow the necessary procedure without any party being bitter (long shot though)

Society will judge you when you stay in an unhappy marriage, and then you start acting out by sleeping around etc……..

They will judge you when you leave your marriage, as being unable to hold a marriage but hey guess what its your life

If you decide to leave then just ensure you do it in a proper manner that wont be disrespectful to the parties involved especially your elders

They were there for you when you needed them and wanted this union and they delivered and you were happy

Now find a better way of exiting and be happy with your decision because it will leave with you for the rest of your life………

Family

Family is everything, its your support system, your motivation and your reason to live. At times you fight but you always find your way to common ground. They will be there for you should life take its toll on you, they will help you get back on your feet and not once judge you. What my family has done for me is so amazing and i will forever be grateful